Am I burned out? E24

January 11, 2022

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In the following 3 episodes (Episodes 25 and 26), I will dive deeper into the topic of burnout. I want to explore with you what burnout actually is, and how we can find out if we are burned out or not. And what does it mean to be burned out? What are the consequences? And how do we get better, how can we recover from burnout and make sure to not fall back into it again?

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Is this a question that you ask yourself: Am I burned out? I never really did until I was diagnosed with burnout and had to take time off work to recover. I think that I shied away from asking myself this question. Honestly, I did not want to hear the honest answer – but instead kept working, working, working. I was afraid of calling it out for what it is. I just did not know a lot about it and I had no clue what to do when you are burned out. So I denied it probably for years until my system said enough is enough.

In the next 3 episodes, I want to go deeper into the topic of burnout. A recent report from Indeed found that employee burnout is on the rise: 52% of all workers are feeling burned out, up +9% from a pre-COVID survey. These numbers are concerning – and are a good reason to start talking about burnout more openly.

Start to understand what burnout is and how to recognize it

How can you find out if you are burned out or not? In the following two episodes, we are looking at the consequences of burnout and how to recover from it. Let’s start with actually understanding what burnout is.

Like I said I never really had a clue what it is and that’s one of the reasons why I shied away from it – from the lack of understanding. Burnout was first identified by Herbert Freudenberger, a psychologist working at a substance abuse clinic in 1970s New York City. The definition he uses is: “a state of fatigue or frustration brought about by devotion to a cause, way of life, or relationship that failed to produce the expected reward.” That was the first definition out there in the world that described burnout.

Then there is a later description of Christina Maslach, an American social psychologist and psychology professor at the University of California. She states in 1981 that burnout is different from exhaustion because with burnout there’s a tendency towards exhaustion, cynicism, and a lack of effectiveness on the job, whereas someone who is exhausted will just have a hard time keeping up with the pace, but likely still feel good about what they’re doing.

Nowadays the World Health Organisation describes burnout as “resulting from chronic workplace stress that has not been successfully managed.” So anything that stresses you out at work for an extended period can potentially lead to burnout syndrome.

When I describe my burnout now I use words like:

not being able to cope anymore
not having the right boundaries
focussing too much on work and achieving my next goal
not looking after myself and creating some kind of balance.

How my burnout looked like

I was very moody all the time and easily irritated by little things and everything. I was frustrated with myself! And I was upset quite easily with others. Looking back at it, I was hardly ever in a state of being content or happy with myself or my life. I always had something to be irritated, angry or upset about. But was I ever aware of what was happening to me? No!

I know now that I was not working efficiently anymore or doing a great job. But that was very hard for me to identify when I was in the middle of it. I am just able to see this now. I would procrastinate a lot and dread doing certain things or speaking to certain people because I knew that it would upset or annoy me. So I started to drag out doing my tasks. Everything felt so heavy. But again, was I aware of what was happening? No.

When I talk about it to others I always say that I worked myself into the ground and my burnout for over 10 years, potentially for most of my adult life. And I think that’s what makes you move from a period of high stress and exhaustion into burnout: the amount of time you stay in this state of existence. You never move out of stress and exhaustion. It just becomes your normal way of being.

Symptoms of burnout

If I look at the top symptoms of workplace burnout that the World Health Organization defines, it describes my symptoms perfectly:

feelings of energy depletion or exhaustion
increased mental distance from one’s job or negative feelings towards one’s career
reduced professional productivity.

This describes it perfectly for me. I build up to this over years and years of working too many hours and complaining about work. I think the reduced productivity started to appear in me in the last 6 months before I decided to go and see a doctor.

But don’t get me wrong. I was never really aware of any of it or I ignored or denied it to myself. I thought this is just how it is supposed to be when you are working on your career and want to achieve something in your life. Really, I never thought that something was wrong with the way I lived my life. That I was making myself ill with my lifestyle.

I think this is quite common these days and why more and more people end up with burnout. Because we are all on the same hamster wheel telling ourselves that this is how it works. It is about time we speak openly about burnout and start to inform ourselves and our loved ones so this does not become or stay our new way of being and working.

How do you burn out?

Originally burnout was discovered or described in people that work in the health industry and look after or treat people. Now it has moved into all other areas of work. But if we think about it, you can get burned out in all areas of your life. It does not just have to be at work or be caused through work.

My burnout for sure came from my work and how I treated my job. How I made my career and my work, my life and my priority number 1. I would work too long hours, I had no work-life balance and most of my identity was through my job.

And you know what really did not let me open my eyes and accept that I was burned out? Fear! Fear of not knowing what that would mean to my life if I was burned out. What would happen to my career if I accepted it? Would I lose it? Would I need to leave my job and lose my income? What would happen to my life if I would not focus anymore on my career? Who would I be without my career?

Does this resonate with you? Do you feel like you might be burned out but you are afraid to face it? Is the fear of the unknown of what would happen when you accept it holding you back from getting better? If so, you are not alone. I am sure this is another reason why many people ignore their unwell being – because they don’t want to lose what they have worked so hard for. Is this not completely understandable?

Acceptance is the first step of the recovery process

In the end, what got me to stop and accept it, was my body. My body with its emotions just started to give up. I would start crying nearly every day because of a situation at work. It was so exhausting that I could not deal anymore with the demands at work. I just did not know anymore what to do or how to get myself out of it.

This is when my husband sat me down and said: Either you are quitting your job now or you go and see a doctor? I knew I had to get help now. Quitting my job would not have been the solution. I know now that I would have just repeated the same behaviour at another company in another job. So I saw a doctor and was diagnosed with burnout. I will talk more about that time and my recovery in the next few episodes.

Looking back at my own case

I can see that I was not open to accepting what was happening and that I was not well. I can imagine that happens for others that are already in burnout. People in our lives are so important to help us accept it and seek the help we need. I am grateful that I had my husband who said these words to me that got me to stop. Who knows for how much longer I would have stayed on the hamster wheel. And what else would have happened to me and my health as a consequence.

Listen to the people in your life if they are trying to tell you that you are working too hard. That you need to relax more and that you need something else in your life other than work and your career. They might be right. Check in with yourself and try to be honest.

And if you have a suspicion that you are burned out and are ready to accept it, seek help either from a doctor or a therapist or coach specializing in burnout. I am so grateful that I finally faced the truth and dealt with my burnout. Never do I want to go back and keep staying in that burned out state any longer than I already was. I know there is the fear of what might happen afterwards. But I truly believe that anything is better than living with burnout and ignoring it. That’s not how we are meant to live life!

Two easy ways to show your appreciation!

If you found value in today’s episode, here’s what you can do to show your support:

First, consider making a donation to the podcast. Every little bit helps to cover the costs of producing and hosting the show. And ensures that I can continue to bring you the latest insights and opinions on the topic of energy and improving your life.

Second, leave a rating and review on Apple Podcasts. This helps boost the podcast’s visibility and attract new listeners, which helps me create more tailored content for you to enjoy.

So whether you choose to donate, leave a rating and review, or both, know that you’re an integral part of my vision. You are helping everyone who struggles with burnout or high-stress levels to experience how awesome their life can be. So, thank you for your support!

How Burnout Feels Like Episode 61
Burnout has been my Wake-Up Call to a new Life Episode 62
Overcoming burnout once and for all Episode 65

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