Take your power back at work E41
May 10, 2022
SUBSCRIBE TO THE PODCAST: Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Google Podcast | Goodpods
I want to share something with you today that helped me tremendously in overcoming my burnout. And it can help you, too. The example can give you an idea of where in your life you can take your power back and start to feel better. Stay tuned.
RATHER WATCH THAN LISTEN/READ? CLICK PLAY!
Having worked for most of my adulthood in the corporate world made me the typical corporate career woman. I climbed up the ladder by moving to new companies or to new roles, departments and even countries. Just to get ahead. Over the years I collected experiences in many different companies, and jobs and with that comes bosses.
I had them all: the fun boss, the great boss, the challenging boss, the not caring boss, the easy boss, the frustrating boss. The list keeps going. The same with the companies I worked for. I could give them similar labels ranging from one end of the scale to the other.
My big realization about power at work
Having moved around so much over the 24 years gave me the chance to see patterns and pitfalls I kept falling into. And one of these biggest pitfalls I saw clearly for the first time last year. It was about 8 months after returning back to work after my burnout. I knew I had successfully overcome my burnout at that point.
Thankfully I was in a place where I applied a lot of insights and learnings to my work life. I felt that I was in a good place, well balanced. Because I was feeling pretty good myself, I was more observant of my colleagues and the people I worked with. And that made me realize something. I am just going to give you the scoop now and explain what it means afterwards.
“What I realized is that neither my boss nor my company is responsible for how I feel, physically, mentally or emotionally.”
You might now cry out loud hearing this statement and tell me how wrong I am. And that is perfectly normal, I would have done so for the 20 years I was an employee. I was very good at blaming my boss if I had too much work to do. It was fun blaming my boss if someone in my team was not doing their work as well as I thought they should. I was good at blaming the company for not having strong enough ethics or values. I was great at blaming the company for pushing their employees too hard. Or for having created a workforce of people that are just out for themselves.
Oh, I was so good at playing this game. Complaining with my colleagues, gossiping with my friends at work. Being outraged by the injustice that was happening to us. If I look back at all the bosses I have complained about and all the companies that I have badly spoken about at one time or another, you could think that I was the biggest victim in the corporate world. Well, at a minimum in my head it seemed like it. But you know what I was?
I was a self-made victim
Overall these years I did not own my own power. Irather stepped into the position of victim and gave my power away. I gave it to my bosses and blamed them when I felt stressed, overworked or bored in my job. Even worth giving my power to somebody else, I gave my power away to my companies. And companies are not even real people. They are just constructs made out of people. Now that I realized it all, I feel strongly about employees in the same shoes. Employees who are giving away their power to something that does not even really exists, other than on paper, in form of numbers or a logo on a website. (Episode 17 and 45)
Coming back to the moment when it hit me. The moment the realization came to me was when I observed my colleagues and how they spoke about the company and our boss. And suddenly my eyes opened to the fact that they were giving their power away. They did not own their own power anymore, they did not own the power to make choices for themselves. And when it hit me I just saw how I have done the same over 20 years of employment.
“That´s when the sentence came to me: My boss is not responsible for how I feel. I am responsible for how I feel.”
I cannot put something so big and important onto another person especially not somebody to who I am not even that close. How unfair of me to even do that to that person and try to make them carry my burden. Well, the burden that I am obviously creating myself in my mind. How unfair is it to make another person feel like they are responsible for making me feel better? It is just not OK to do that! Not for the person you give your power away to and not for yourself.
Taking my power back at work
When I got this message and realized what it meant, it felt like the first domino stone was pushed over and so many more were falling. So many things started to make sense to me now. I saw that if every employee would take their power back and stop putting this burden on their boss or their company, then we would not be in this situation where over half of the employees are struggling with burnout.
“It all comes down to beliefs that we are having about our working life. About being employed, about companies and hierarchies in organizations.”
When I reflect back on what kind of beliefs I had for 2 decades I can come up with a few important ones. Where I can see that I gave my power away. For example:
- When I feel stressed out and overworked, it is my boss’s responsibility to take away some of that workload or pressure so that I feel better.
- When my company goes through a restructuring and I am scared about my job and lively hood then it is up to the company to do everything to make me feel better and safe.
- When I am not getting along with one of my colleagues and going to work sucks because I need to see them and work with them, it is my boss’s responsibility to deal with this situation so I can enjoy my life again.
I can probably come up with over 100 hundred more of these but I think you get my point.
And please don’t get me wrong. I am not saying that a boss or a company have no responsibility at all. Of course, they do but I think we take it too far. The line where responsibility lies are quite often not in the right place. I have moved the responsibility line over too much to my boss and my employer. And with that I gave my power away to make my own decisions and to work on myself.
And then feel better as a result of my own actions, through my own choices and through my own inner work. That is the only way you will long-lasting feel better anyway. Nobody or nothing on the outside will ever make you be whole and happy. Or feel loved if you don’t do it for yourself first.
“Now you might be asking: What is the responsibility of a company to their employee when you do feel stressed or burned out?”
Some employers are already doing a lot of things in the area of health and wellbeing for their employees. And sadly some others don´t. But even the ones who do have a lot of offers in that space will not stop employees from slipping into burnout.
What I have discovered is that employees quite often don’t realize that they are the creators of their reality and life. They believe that especially in the workplace, the employer or their boss are the ones in control. And if they feel too stressed or cannot cope anymore, the boss or the employer should make it better. Make them feel better. They are given their power away.
Take YOUR power back at work
I would love for employers to help their employees become aware that they are in control of their life. That they are the only ones who can truly make them feel better. I want people to take their power back and realize that they are the only ones who can turn their life around and decide to be happy again. Once they take their power back and work on getting better, they can decide if their current employer is still the right choice. Or if they want to spend their energy rather somewhere else.
The one thing I would hope employers would support employees with is to take time off when diagnosed with burnout. Getting some distance from your current situation is so crucial and valuable and can help the recovery immensely. Employers hopefully realize that a few weeks off will get them back a healthier, happier and much more productive employee.
And another important part is for us to have more data and scientific research on the topic of burnout and mental health. In our times, data and science is seen as the truth. In the last decades, the world focused heavily on the physical health of our bodies. And we have made great strides. But people are the most unhappy than they have ever been. Which shows that a healthy body is not everything – it is just one part of the equation.
We have not so far focused enough on our minds and our emotions. But new research and scientific results start to show the connection between everything. It shows the power of our mind and our emotions on our state of being and wellness. The more data and science we collect and share, the more people and companies will wake up to the truth – and if they don’t, they will be left behind and pay for it later.
So even though your employer and your boss have some responsibilities, you have the biggest amount of responsibility in your life. See this as the greatest opportunity that you have. Your company does not own you, your boss cannot rule over your life. So take your power back!
You will how much more energy for yourself. You will see how certain challenges and problems just go away by themselves because you stopped giving them energy and attention. Start looking out for yourself, not in a selfish way but in a caring way. And looking out for yourself means that you take care of yourself and don’t wait for your boss or your employer to do it.
If this resonated with you and you suddenly see your company or boss in a new light, then my job is done!
Two easy ways to show your appreciation!
If you found value in today’s episode, here’s what you can do to show your support:
First, consider making a donation to the podcast. Every little bit helps to cover the costs of producing and hosting the show. And ensures that I can continue to bring you the latest insights and opinions on the topic of energy and improving your life.
Second, leave a rating and review on Apple Podcasts. This helps boost the podcast’s visibility and attract new listeners, which helps me create more tailored content for you to enjoy.
So whether you choose to donate, leave a rating and review, or both, know that you’re an integral part of my vision. You are helping everyone who struggles with burnout or high-stress levels to experience how awesome their life can be. So, thank you for your support!
You Might Also Like
- Stop living your life on autopilot! Episode 54
- Connect with your inner SORCE with Jessica Corbin Episode 64
- Don’t work harder, work on yourself instead Episode 76
Would you like to find out what gives and what takes energy from you?
This guide helps you reflect and plan for the year ahead to spend more time on activities that give you energy and let go of things that take a lot of your energy.
This Guide focuses on YOU. Working through it will get you to know yourself better which will help you plan for the upcoming year with so much more fun and energy.
Download the guide now: REFLECT & RESET GUIDE
Follow me on social media
