Burnout has been my Wake-Up Call to a new life E62
October 4, 2022
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Last week I spoke about how I felt when I was burned out. Which wasn’t great but it was important for me to share this in case it helps someone to recognise that they are burned out, too. Today I want to share with you what happened to me next when I began to accept that I was burned out.
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I mentioned this already in last week’s episode but when asked how I ended up being burned out, I always answer that I have worked myself into my burnout for over 20 years. It´s not something that I have just been doing for a few months or years. It’s the habits, beliefs and thought patterns that I had for most of my life and especially in my adulthood.
The number one belief that kept me working myself into the ground was that my career is my number one priority. I identified myself through my job, the company I worked for and what I achieved in my career. It never really mattered much to me to achieve something outside of work. My personal life was kind of important to me but it was not something that I focused on.
The downward spiral into burnout
Looking back now at the last 20 years it feels like a downward spiral where the balance in my life keeps shifting to one side and turns into a huge imbalance. And that side was work – it was all about doing a good job, getting the next best position that will hopefully make me feel better about myself.
I did not realize back then that I was searching for something to fill that hole inside of me. Thinking that fulfilment at work alone will fix it.
One day I was again so upset with people at work and with the world around me that my husband set me down and said: You either quit your job today or you go to the doctor and take sick leave.
Apparently, that was the ultimatum I needed
He tried to tell me before that he thinks I am burned out. But would I listen? No, of course not. But at that moment, I felt so much hopelessness, despair and resignation and it all hit me at once.
I can just describe it as a battery reset: all the batteries are so empty and depleted that nothing is going on anymore. There is no energy to fight it anymore. There is no power left to deny it any longer. It was just darkness and silence inside of me.
That was the low point where I finally started to listen. A small voice inside of me was able to speak for the first time and say: Maybe he is right. Maybe this is as far as I can go and no more.
I reflected for a bit on what my husband said but I knew that quitting was not the solution given that I would need to keep working during my 3 months notice period. So I decided to go to the doctor a few days later.
My acceptance that I am burned out
Sitting in front of my doctor and describing my symptoms, the tears started to run and I felt the acceptance inside of me: I am burned out. I finally let the truth be the truth and understood that I needed time off to get better.
There and then I knew that something big changed, that something fundamentally just happened in my life. Even though I was not yet aware of what it exactly was. The doctor sent me home with 2 weeks of sick leave but not much more support other than taking it slow and relaxing.
For the next 2 weeks, I was at home, keeping myself busy with cooking, running errands, taking care of odd jobs in the house and watching lots of TV. After 14 days I knew that I was not better and that nothing much had changed inside of me.
One powerful decision to not go back
That’s when I made the decision that I would not go back to work until something drastically changed. I told myself that I would not go back and do the same shit again that I was doing for the last years and end up in my next burnout a few months or years later. That decision was a powerful message to the universe and that´s when shifts started to happen.
I got the doctor to write me off sick for another 2 weeks. But I knew I could not keep sitting at home and avoid facing my reality. I booked myself into a countryside hotel 1 hour outside of my home town and left to stay there for a week, all by myself with nothing to do, no car to go somewhere, so I would stop avoiding doing the work inside of me.
To start finding a new way of living my life. Thank god I made that decision and faced myself.
For the first time in my life, I sat with myself. A few months before that week I signed up for an online course from Dr Joe Dispenza and that’s what I went through during my hours in my hotel room. I meditated about 3 times per day and took long walks in nature.
Never in my life before, did I spend that much alone time
Things started to shift inside of me. I had realizations about my life. I had AHA moments about life in general. And I started to enter the world of energy, my own energy. Through the knowledge of the online course and my self-reflection, I started to truly understand what I did to myself for all of these years.
I experienced the significant benefits of meditation given that I kept doing them all day long. They gave me tons of energy, they made me feel closer to myself. And for the first time in my life, I started to get feelings of wanting to put myself first. That my well-being is supposed to be my priority number one in life. And not my job or my career.
Being by yourself and listening to your inner voice
Since then I have told every person in my life how beneficial and important it is to spend time alone, away from home to just be with yourself and your own thoughts. I understand now that keeping ourselves busy with our lives weakens our connection with our true selves. And being in silence and meditation can help us to get back in connection and start rebuilding that trust and relationship that helps us to feel better and look after ourselves.
When I returned home I made sure to stay another 2 weeks off of work to be able to bring my new practices into my everyday life and to see if I was really better and ready to return to work. After 6 weeks I returned back to work and that’s when I started applying all of my learnings, new insights and AHA moments to my usual work. And an amazing journey of recovery and adventures began.
Burnout has been my wake-up call to a new life
Burnout isn’t just a small thing that you need to figure out how to get over. It is a difficult and troubling reality that can lead to many negative consequences in all areas of your life. People dealing with burnout symptoms and job stress feel the consequences in their physical, mental and emotional health.
Physical health issues could be that the stress levels get far too high for the given situation. You might feel constantly tired and exhausted. And burnout increases the likelihood of heart disease, high blood pressure, diabetes and more.
Even if you don’t have any physical health issues yet, it’s a matter of time for them to show up if you feel overwhelmed by your life on a regular basis. For many years I felt quite numb in my life. Like I was not really my life – I was waiting to wake up and realize that this was just a bad TV show.
Numbing myself and ignoring the signs of burnout
I thankfully did not show any serious health issues but I did feel constantly tired and exhausted. My body was out of balance and most of the time in a state of stress and worry.
And because I felt emotionally and mentally not well, I did not look after myself. I did not exercise, I stuffed myself with unhealthy food and drank too much alcohol to numb the emotions and my ever-chatting brain. I just needed my mind to shut up at the end of another hard-working day!
Who knows how I could have ended up if I would not wake myself up from this state? Today I am so immensely grateful that I did not have to go there, I did not have to experience the really bad consequences of stress and burnout like a heart attack, a stroke or cancer.
I know that I was feeding my body poison every single day for decades – and that poison was just not junk food and alcohol. No, it was the chemicals of stress, overwhelm, shame and guilt. They are the real poison that lets you end up in the hospital. Thank God I picked up the wake-up call and answered it!
The harsh truth that I accept now but would have never done in the past:
We create our burnout by ourselves
Yes, there are lots of outside influences that get us on the trajectory of getting burnout. All the overload of information, demands, job and family responsibilities, financial pressures and many more. And a society that has gotten us all to do more and more, drives us to need to have careers, to have more money to buy more, to have a particular job title to be something more.
And still, with all of that going on, not everyone is burned out. Not everyone is in the same boat as us. That just shows that there is a huge factor that we play in this.
So how are we creating this for ourselves? By shaming ourselves, harshly criticizing ourselves, by thinking that we are just not enough. We create a version of ourselves based on a set of values that we have. We have collected them over the length of our lives and formed our personalities based on them. Values of always working harder, putting other people’s needs first, and feeling unworthy unless we have achieved everything we could ever dream of.
I know that I worked myself towards my burnout for most of my adult life
Always needing to go for the better job, the better company, the next higher salary. I thought that’s what you are meant to do! That’s what is going to make you happy! But the happiness never came. I kept thinking if I work even harder and take on more and more responsibility – then I will be happy. But that time never came. No, what came was my burnout!
Having described to you in great detail how I was feeling in the middle of the worst time of my burnout, maybe you see yourself in some of the words, the descriptions and the feelings. If you do, see this as a clear message to change something in your life. And the first brilliant thing you are already doing for yourself is listening to me talk about burnout.
But if you are ready to do even more, then I am honoured to invite you to the ENERGY ACADEMY. This is the upgraded program since I discontinued the Change Your Mind…Create New Results Program.
The ENERGY ACADEMY
This Program incorporates the latest scientific research and you will learn brain-based, outcome-driven techniques and frameworks that will help you to change more positively and effectively. This Program entails everything that I applied to overcome my burnout and so much more.
If you are ready to take your destiny into your own hands and learn how to truly change once and for all, then sign up for program.
Thank you so much for listening to today’s episode. I hope that my sharing more about my experience with burnout helps someone in my community to accept and overcome their struggles with burnout. That’s my biggest wish!
Two easy ways to show your appreciation!
If you found value in today’s episode, here’s what you can do to show your support:
First, consider making a donation to the podcast. Every little bit helps to cover the costs of producing and hosting the show. And ensures that I can continue to bring you the latest insights and opinions on the topic of energy and improving your life.
Second, leave a rating and review on Apple Podcasts. This helps boost the podcast’s visibility and attract new listeners, which helps me create more tailored content for you to enjoy.
So whether you choose to donate, leave a rating and review, or both, know that you’re an integral part of my vision. You are helping everyone who struggles with burnout or high-stress levels to experience how awesome their life can be. So, thank you for your support!
You Might Also Like
- How Burnout Feels Like Episode 61
- 4 Often-Overlooked Life Areas that Deplete Your Energy Episode 94
- Checking in with my nervous system once per day Episode 70
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