Surrendering & Letting Things Get Out of Control E93

May 9, 2023

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I am so overly excited about this episode. I had my struggles with the concept of surrendering, so I can imagine that other people do, too. Maybe that’s you currently being here with me. So I want to share with you my current understanding of what surrender actually means. And hope that it helps you get clearer on it, too.

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I am super excited to dive into the word and the meaning of surrender or surrendering. I personally have had a journey with the word and I have seen others asking similar questions. Questions I asked myself:

What does surrendering actually mean? How do you do it?
Are there useful tips or steps that I should know about?
Does it mean giving up and not having any goals anymore?
How do I surrender if I have big plans for my life?

And to be very honest, have I figured it all out? No! But why I am talking about this today is because I made progress. I have a BETTER understanding now. And I know that this is by far not the end of it and there is more for me to understand and apply, I want to share this with you.

Maybe you are like me and love to have everything under control. I love to organize everything in advance – or did so in the past. Nowadays I am much more relaxed. And if my former self, just a few years ago, would see me now, it would not believe it. I still love planning and organizing but I have become more used to letting go of the control. So to say, let things get out of control for the purpose of surrendering.

What does Surrendering actually mean?

Back to the question: What does surrendering actually mean? I have gotten a much better understanding of surrendering through the book The Surrender Experiment by Michael Singer. I read this for the first time end of 2022 and then in recent weeks for the second time. It’s just so good and eye-opening. In the book, Singer shows us what can happen when you let life, or the “universe,” do what IT wants to do rather than you trying to make it do what YOU want. This is what he calls “surrender.”

The book describes his life journey of surrendering again and again in his life. And by giving these life examples, it becomes so much clearer what surrendering is supposed to or can look like.

If you ever before came across someone saying to you: Just surrender! Did you ask yourself as well: HOW? And then nobody really was able to give you an answer? I will give my best to give you an answer on the HOW now – to the best of my current knowledge and experience. And yes, I will provide you as well with a few examples from my life over the last few months.

HOW #1 – Being detached from the outcome

Dr Joe Dispenza says: The balance between intention and surrender is a delicate one. The intention is to get clear on what we want and surrender is trusting in the best outcome.

What this means to me is that I can still have my intentions, goals and dreams but surrender to the universe to bring them to me in the most amazing way that I could ever imagine.

In the past, I would need to control everything, so the HOW. If I have a goal, HOW do I make it happen? What are the 27000 steps that I need to take to get there and then go and work on these 27000 steps?

But now I know better. I know now that the universe is so much more intelligent than my analytical mind and that if I surrender and let go of the control then the universe can make it happen. and it might make it come to me in 79 steps instead of 27000 steps. The universe is just so good that it can shift things around globally to make my goal happen in the quickest and best way – but it’s going to be a way that I cannot fathom with my conscious mind.

If we can let go of the HOW and the WHEN the universe gets to work and will find the best and most aligned way. If we don’t let go and try to control the when and how we set boundaries for the universe to deliver it to us. We limit the divine capabilities for the need to be in control. Does that make sense to you?

Letting Things Get Out of Control on Purpose

Now the title of this HOW step #1 was “Being detached from the outcome”. So far I explained how to be detached from the HOW and the WHEN. And that is already such an important first step that most people never even reach or fully allow themselves. But there is another level to it that I am just starting to learn and play around with myself. And that is even being detached from the outcome itself.

I am currently going through a 5 months program with Kathrin Zenkina who is a Manifestation Expert and she explains to us to bring ease, fun and lightness to the goal that we selected. We want to be much more nonchalant when we talk about the goal that we dream about. If we are holding too tight on the goal and we NEED it, we create an energy of desperation and neediness.

And have you ever had a person wanting to be your friend sooooo bad that they came across as really needy? And did it, not kind of put you off being their friend? The energy of neediness is not attracting abundance in your life. The energy of neediness brings with it the feeling of lack and a failure of possession.

Letting Go of Neediness

And a quick way for you to start applying this into your life is to catch yourself when you say things like “I need to do this.” “I need to still get this done.” or “I need to have this or that.” From now onwards every time you hear yourself say the word NEED, stop and reflect on what you were just saying. Consider if this really is a need or rather you get to do something or if you potentially don’t want to do this and decide to say no. That way you begin to get sensible about creating neediness, lack and burdens in your life.

Back to the topic of detaching ourselves from the outcome. My current example is the next level of success in my business. In my old-fashioned way, I would have set a clear path on HOW the result of my successful business would NEED to look like. Not anymore. Yes, I manifest the next level of success but I detach myself from how this is going to look, feel, smell and taste like. That way I surrender to the highest degree possible for me right now and let the universe decide on what the outcome is going to be.

A really cool way, again a great tip from Kathrin Zenkina, is to write down 500 ways how you can reach your goal or your dream. That way your conscious mind starts to open up for more possibilities and remove the blinders and open your vision. To be honest, I have not reached by far 500 ways on how my business can look on the next level of success but just writing down the first 20 helped me tremendously to loosen the grip of control.

And just to clarify that this does not mean sitting on the sofa and doing nothing. Take action towards your goal one step at a time. Take action that you feel inspired to take towards your dream without knowing the next 13 steps after that. That is your way to show the universe that you are serious about your goal and you mean it but you trust the universe to deliver it in the best way and with divine timing. OK? Great. Let’s move on.

HOW #2 – Giving Up AND Giving In

Usually, when you read something about surrendering you see the phrase: It’s not giving up, it’s giving in! Giving in to the greatness within us, the universe, etc.

But there is an aspect that we do want to give up on in the process of surrendering. And that is giving up on the ego, part of the conscious mind, the critical faculty. I always love to call it my ever-chatting mind. That said it does not chat anymore that much. But it does love to show up when I decide to surrender.

My chatting mind will then say things like What if it does not work? Then we will have wasted all of this time that we could use now to plan out all steps for the next 3 years. What if the universe does not think that we should achieve this goal? What if something or someone gets in our way? Do we think the universe got the message or do we need to repeat it another 100 times just to be sure?

Feel safe enough to Surrender

This is serious, you guys. You go ahead and begin to surrender and you will see what your mind is going to do. The thing is that this mind, the ego, wants us to stay safe. And safe means staying in the known and controlling every step of the way because then we know it. It does not like to give away control even if something much better will come out of it. It does not think like that. It’s just busy to keep you safe right now and stepping into the unknown by surrendering is not safe in the eyes of the ego.

So as part of the surrendering process we want to find a way to work with our ego, our chatting mind, to make it feel safe even if we surrender so our dreams can be achieved quicker, better and in unexpected ways. And for me, that means giving up on comfort, giving up on safety, giving up on listening to this dramatic voice in my head and rather giving in and letting the universe take control of my journey for a while. It will get me to a much better place in a quicker time than I could ever come up with myself.

HOW #3 – Trusting in the Flow of Life

And the third learning I made from the process of surrendering is to trust more. It’s kind of a by-product of letting go of control. We can loosen the grip on the manifestation process of our dream when we trust that the universe, God, our higher self, or the divine has our back and is always acting in our best interest.

This is very much linked to the emotional part of the surrender process. Well, that’s how I experience it. If I am unable to trust I have feelings of frustration, unworthiness and fear. And that makes me worry, be scared and doubt myself.

In a sense, I practice moving into trust again and again. You can imagine it like a pendulum. Initially, it was stuck on one side and then I got it unstuck and have moments where it swings over into trust, love and peace which let me let go and surrender. And then it will swing back because that’s what I am used to. But every time I get it to swing over from fear unto trust it gets more and more unstuck and it’s easier to swing. And at times it has moments where it’s just hanging out in the middle where it is neutral.

Moving into Trust to be able to live a Peaceful & Calm Life

So the process of surrendering and moving your feelings to trust, faith, and gratitude gets you to a much better emotional state of being. And can you see that you have to practice moving into that trust state for you to be able to live your life one day in a neutral, peaceful and calm way where things just don’t faith you?

And when I struggle to move into trust I will look back at all of the times I have had proof of this through synchronicities. I actually started recording all of my bigger or more impactful synchronicities as proof for myself when I needed to remember that the universe is so much more powerful than I can even imagine. So I remember all the times when I was speechless and still am about certain events happening in my life that I could have never imagined by myself. That’s what lets me move easily into trust again.

OK, that’s all that I know about surrendering at this moment in time. Let me know if this was helpful or what you think. Connect with me via Instagram, Facebook or YouTube as I would love to hear from you and your view on surrendering.

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