Are you feeling stuck? Stop trying, just BE E125

December 26, 2023

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If you currently feel stuck in an area of your life, then this episode is for you. I am going to share with you an eye-opening reason why you might be stuck and cannot seem to reach your goal or dream. Let’s begin.

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Do we not all feel stuck sometimes? It can be just one small area of our lives that doesn’t seem even that important. Or we feel stuck in one big area of our lives and we can’t think of anything else.

You can feel stuck in your career because you don’t seem to be able to get to the next step. Or you can feel stuck in changing an annoying habit, for example, smoking, that you have been trying to get rid of for years. You might feel stuck in your life in general because you want more from it but have no clue how to get there. Or you might feel stuck in a relationship but you don’t want to let it go out of fear of what might happen when you do.

Why do we feel stuck?

There are endless reasons why we can feel stuck. We use the expression of feeling stuck when we describe a situation that we are currently in that we would like to change. And we might have tried before and it didn’t work – so we classify ourselves as being stuck in an undesired situation. Makes sense, right?

And why being stuck is such a big topic for most of us is due to the feelings that go hand in hand with this stuckness that we see ourselves in. We can feel frustrated, defeated, sad, or lost. Depending on the situation and the time and effort we already lost trying to change it, we can even feel despair or hopelessness and we are about to resign and accept the current situation for the rest of our lives.

The hidden block that keeps us stuck

The thing is that we try so hard to get unstuck but our attempts are not working. And today I share with you one hidden block that is standing in your way of getting unstuck.

I certainly attest that I have fallen into this trap before. I just didn’t know any better. And you don’t either, so be kind to yourself. This hidden block just feels normal to think and behave to us – not knowing that it’s stopping us from reaching our goal, from changing that habit and from making our dreams come true.

The thing is, you can keep trying and trying to change, to achieve and to let go as much as you want. But the problem lies in the word trying. So let me explain.

Trying implies an attempt to fail

If you are trying to change, create or accomplish something you are blocking the desired result from coming into your life. To get unstuck you must let go of trying in itself.

Trying implies an attempt to reach your goal or to make a change in your life. It implies that you attempted to change a habit or get a promotion and ultimately failed at it. Otherwise, you would be the changed person or the one who got a promotion and not just try to be that person.

Trying means you won’t get there. You will try and fail. With the word trying comes always the result of failure.

Life example where you would never try

Let me share with you an example where you wouldn’t ever try, so we can see it from another perspective. It’s bedtime and you are getting ready to sleep. You are in your bathroom and next, you will brush your teeth. You are not trying to brush your teeth. No, you are just picking up the toothbrush, add the toothpaste and brush your teeth for a few minutes.

It would be weird for you to think or even say out loud: “I am going to try to brush my teeth.” You wouldn’t do it. It’s normal for you to brush your teeth. There is no need to try it. You are just a person who brushes their teeth before bedtime. It’s not a big deal.

We put our desires out of reach and feel stuck

And therein lies the problem. Once we put importance on something like getting a promotion or stopping the habit of smoking, we fall into the trap of “trying” to get a promotion or “trying” to stop smoking. Little do we know that we are setting ourselves up for failure with the word trying.

We classify the desire as not normal. We put it on a pedestal where it’s difficult for us to reach. And to keep this desire out of reach given we don’t see it as normal, we keep trying to reach it and obviously fail.

Instead of making our desires unreachable for us, we want to normalize them. Instead of trying to reach our desires, we want to practice being the person that has, does or is in the desired state.

My attempt (and failure) to stop drinking

Let me give you a personal example. Last year in November I ”tried” to stop drinking any alcohol for a month. And I have done it several times before so I knew it was possible but I remember that I was in a trying kind of energy. And of course, what happened? By the 10th of the month, I failed.

When I realized what I did and how I let the energy of trying stop me from accomplishing my goal, I set myself up differently. To be honest, I was quite angry with myself and said: No more. This is it! And I decided to stop drinking alcohol for a year.

And not only from the 1st of January onwards which was still over a month to go. No, I would do it as of the 1st of December and already do it throughout the Christmas time.

Now, the difference from November to December was my state of being, my determination and that I never ever said to people that I was trying to not drink for a year. If I was asked if I wanted a drink, I always said: No thank you, I am not drinking alcohol for a year.

Stop trying and be the person or do the thing

Not once did I allow myself to use the word trying, because I wasn’t. I wasn’t trying anymore, I was the person who did not drink alcohol for a year. Do you see the difference?

It’s about beingness of your desire. Or doing what you before just attempted to do. It’s all about the energy of your state of being towards your desire.

And to be very honest. If you don’t want to go all in and be the person or do the thing, then don’t even try. What a waste of energy and time. Decide to do it or not. Decide to be it or not. But stop trying.

Where in your life are you still trying?

Now I want you to check in with yourself: Where in your life are you trying to do something and have not accomplished it yet? Can you think about moments in your life where you use the word trying or I try to do it or I try to reach it?

It’s such a normal expression in our vocabulary nowadays or has always been, no idea. But we throw around the expression I tried to… to excuse ourselves for failing. As if you already have to explain to yourself or others why you are probably going to fail.

Obviously, until now you didn’t know any better. But now you do! So catch yourself the next time you hear yourself think or say the word try. Check-in with your current desires and assess if you are in this self-fulfilling prophecy of trying and failing. And if you are, change your state of being. Reflect on what needs to change in your thinking and feeling so you move from trying to being or doing. Or if you still truly have desire and if you don’t, then stop trying and use this energy in a better place.

Join the New You Journey to learn 2 more hidden blocks to get unstuck

That was the hidden block I wanted to share with you today for you to get unstuck. Other blocks can keep you feeling stuck and if you want to find out what they are, then join my New You 7-Day Journey at the beginning of January 2024.

In one of the lessons, I am sharing with you the other 2 main hidden blocks that can keep you stuck in your life. And I promise you that they are equally powerful and eye-opening than this one.
The signup link is in the show notes or head over to lindalange.com/newyou. And thank you so much for reading this article today. If you shift from trying to being or doing you will make your dreams come true. If not, then they always will just stay dreams.

Two easy ways to show your appreciation!

If you found value in today’s episode, here’s what you can do to show your support:

First, consider making a donation to the podcast. Every little bit helps to cover the costs of producing and hosting the show. And ensures that I can continue to bring you the latest insights and opinions on the topic of energy and improving your life.

Second, leave a rating and review on Apple Podcasts. This helps boost the podcast’s visibility and attract new listeners, which helps me create more tailored content for you to enjoy.

So whether you choose to donate, leave a rating and review, or both, know that you’re an integral part of my vision. You are helping everyone who struggles with burnout or high-stress levels to experience how awesome their life can be. So, thank you for your support!