No One Is Coming To Save You (and why that’s liberating) E164

September 24, 2024

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Welcome to today’s episode! Have you ever found yourself searching for something—or someone—to save you? Whether it’s a new gadget, a relationship, or even a retreat, we all look for that one thing to bring us peace. But what if the answer isn’t out there but within you? Today, we’ll explore the hard truth that no one is coming to save you—except you. Stick with me as we dive deep into how we subconsciously seek salvation and what it means to truly step into your own power. You won’t want to miss this eye-opening journey!

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Are We All Secretly Searching for Someone or Something to Save Us?

You might not have realised until today that we, including most humans, are always searching for the next thing or person that will save us. We are searching on the internet. We are looking for new tools, treatments or things to buy to save us. We look towards what others are doing and wonder if this is finally going to save us.

But most of us are not even aware that that’s what we are doing. That we subconsciously hope that the next object we purchase finally saves us. That the next visit to the doctor or healer will set us free from a condition. That the next person is going to be the one person to save us from the dread we are feeling.

The Hidden Hope: Why We Look for Salvation in Every New Thing

And what do I mean by saving? It depends on what you are currently going through. It could literally mean to save you from dying. But it could mean as well to save you from strong so-called negative feelings that you experience like loneliness, sadness, anxiety, hopelessness, powerlessness, and so on. Or a particular low point in your life. Or a situation where you see no progress despite all your efforts. All of these can lead you to look for something outside of you to save you from it.

Today, I want to look at the phrase “No One is Coming To Save You” from a few different perspectives. Not just the typical one that you would expect me to say and that you would have heard from other teachers before. I will go a few layers deeper and show you where else in your life you are trying to be saved – without you even being aware of it. This might feel like a hard truth for some of you. But I know you are here for a reason and that means you are ready to hear it.

From Childhood to Adulthood: How Our Need for Rescue Evolves

Before I go and tell you the obvious, that the only person who is going to save you is you, I will lead you down the rabbit hole and pull the veil from your eyes, so you can see how you are trying to be saved in your life. We are all doing it somehow, even if we think we don’t.

At different times in our lives, it is through different things, people or situations that we hope to be saved. When we are children, we project this wish to be saved predominantly onto our parents. They are there to keep you safe when you are growing up. Obvirously that is not always the case, sadly, but that doesn’t mean that there is not a wish or hope deep inside of you that your parents save you from any harm, wrongdoing or disappointment.

Then, when we grow up, we move on from our parents and project our need to be saved onto friends, first relationships or people we meet during higher education, job training or first work experiences. Initially, we still focus on the immediate people in our lives to guide us to a better place, a place where we feel safe and secure. Until we get older and from experience realize that no one around us is any wiser than us or even interested in saving us.

The Midlife Awakening: Realizing Nothing External Can Save You

That’s when we move on to throw ourselves into life projects that will hopefully give us the meaning that we are craving. For some of us that is work and our career, for others, it’s raising a family. Others are focusing on a sport, a hobby or a talent to find their meaning in life. And don’t get me wrong. I am not saying that there is anything wrong with that. How could it? It’s what we all do. What I want you to realize is that often there is a need behind our actions and intentions. A need to be saved, a need to find purpose and meaning. And we externalize that need and try to find the answer in our work, partner, children or passion project. Do you see what I mean by that?

Then there is another layer that I want to share with you. This can come at any stage in your life and it comes for a lot of us including myself when we are about 35-40 years old and realize that work or our passion is not saving us. You could call it a mid-life crisis. I call it an awakening. A realization that there must be something else – because this is not doing it for me anymore. It hasn’t saved me, even though I put years or even decades of time and energy into it.

That’s when we turn to new things in our lives – again quite often from a need to be saved. That could be in the form of a religion, a spiritual practice or a new direction in life. It could be that you are struggling with something and are looking towards doctors, medication or treatments to save you. It could be that you lose yourself in the teachings and knowledge of leaders, gurus, self-development or spiritual teachers. All in the hope of finding something that saves you from what you are currently struggling with.

Seeking Salvation in Spiritual Practices and Career: Is There Really a Difference?

I have gone through this exact experience. Losing myself for over a decade in my career and work. Thinking that this will save me from feeling lost and incomplete. But it didn’t. Then I woke up and realized that there had to be something else in life. So I turned to the spiritual world and some of its leaders. Going to retreats, buying courses to throw myself into their teachings – all in the hope of finally finding something or someone that can make me feel whole.

In a sense, there is no difference between all of the options I mentioned already. If it’s all in the pursuit of being saved. Some people rely on drugs and medication and believe that this is going to heal them. Other people rely on spiritual practices and believe that this is going to heal them. Can you see that?

In my case, I thought I moved on from finding fulfilment in my job and career. But I just replaced it with something else. I don’t say that these things are not important and a great path to find yourself, the person who is actually going to save you. I wouldn’t be here without having gone this path.

But now I am waking up again and realizing what I was doing. Putting my subconscious need to be saved onto the next best thing, in this case, my spiritual practices and all the teachers that came along with it. And in a sense, I did the same as well with my business. I started my business out of desperation of not feeling fulfilled in my corporate career anymore. Hoping that having my own business is going to make me feel whole and complete. Well, Linda, a business can’t do that. I am realizing this now, too.

Becoming Your Own Hero: How to Stop Looking for External Solutions

So, as you already expected: The only person who is going to save you is you. And how can you do it? By stopping to look for the next magic pill in external sources like the next job, the promotion, the next love interest, the next hobby, the next holiday. Let go of the belief that there is something or someone out there that can save you. Because there isn’t. There is only you. You are the only person that can save you.

Sure, there are lots of people and things out there that can help you on your path. And don’t shy away from using them. But don’t believe that they are going to save you. The magic happens in everyday life and not on retreats, in treatments or using the newest gadget. They can help you on your path to love, joy, enlightenment, wholeness, and completeness. But they are never going to do the job for you in the end.

This might now sound scary to you. I get it. But you know what it truly is? It’s liberating. And I will share with you why. First of all: You are taking your power back. You stop putting your fate into other people’s hands. You can only truly change something fundamentally when you are in your own power. As long as you think that something outside of you is going to save or heal you, you are giving away your chance to heal and save yourself.

You are handing over a part of you to a drug, to a doctor, to a spiritual teacher. You might think you can only be saved when you go to this retreat or when you get this promotion or when you finally travel to this amazing country. That’s not how it works. You have to become your own hero and take ownership of your fate, your healing journey and your path to peace, joy and bliss.

When you realize and accept that no one and nothing is going to save you but you, only then can you become your own hero. Until then it’s going to be someone outside of you that you see as your hero, your saviour. But what about you? Why not be your own hero?

The Power of Letting Go: How Freedom Comes From Releasing the Need to Be Saved

And you know what the best thing about this is? When you don’t “need” something or someone anymore for the purpose of saving you? You can let go of them – or not. But it’s suddenly your choice. You get to choose freely if you want to do something or not. If you want to spend time with someone or not. You step into your full power and you make choices based on new criteria. That can be:

Is it fun? Do I enjoy doing it or being with this person?
Do I feel called to do this?
Does it bring me joy, peace, laughter and calmness? Does it bring me whatever I want more of in my life?

Once you let go of people, situations and things for the reason of being saved, you can create a new relationship with them. Or you can decide to let go. But does it not sound amazing to have the choice and not feel like you have to do it because it’s going to save or heal you? You can make so much better choices every single day.

I invite you to look at everything in your life and ask yourself if there is a need to be saved – whatever it is that you are currently struggling with. Look at:

Everything you own
Every person and relationship in your life
What you spend your time with? What do you do all day and night?

And then ask if there is a need to be saved attached to this person, situation or object. And if there is, let go of the belief that this, he or she is going to save you. And then ask yourself again if you want it, him or her in your life. Make a conscious choice from a place of being your own hero.

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So whether you choose to donate, leave a rating and review, or both, know that you’re an integral part of my vision. You are helping everyone who struggles with burnout or high-stress levels to experience how awesome their life can be. So, thank you for your support!

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