Stuck in Change? Proven Strategies to Move Forward and Reclaim Your Energy E180
January 14, 2025
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Welcome to today’s episode, where we’re diving into the Change Curve—a powerful tool to understand and navigate the emotional rollercoaster that comes with change. Whether it’s at work, like a new system or restructuring, or in your personal life, change can feel overwhelming and exhausting.
In this episode, I’ll walk you through each stage of the change curve, from Shock to Integration, and share practical tips to help you move through them more efficiently. You’ll learn how to protect your energy, avoid getting stuck, and embrace change with greater ease. Let’s make change less draining and more empowering—let’s get started!
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Mastering the Change Curve: Navigate Change with Less Stress
Today I am going to talk to you about the change curve from corporate change management methods. It’s often used to explain what happens to employees when change is happening in an organization. That’s how I got in contact with it for the first time. During my career in HR and responsible for projects and change management, I have worked with various change management models which means I have seen lots of variations of the curve. Nevertheless, an employee will go through similar experiences whatever model you apply to your change initiative at work.
Now, why I do I want to talk about the change curve? You know that I talk to you all the time about change. And getting to know the classic change curve is just another way for you to understand yourself when something drastic happens in your life. And maybe you have been introduced to the change curve before through your job. And I want to take it a step further today. I will explain the different stages of the change curve and what happens to you and at the same time give you tips on how to navigate the change curve better. I want to move the focus on your energy while going through change and how you can waste a lot of effort while being stuck in the change curve. So progressing through it more efficiently and with less energy spend, is going to be the learning that you will take from this episode.
Applying the Change Curve to Life: Recognizing and Overcoming Stuck Points
And yes, this change curve is often used for when change happens in your corporate workplace, like a restructuring of your department, a sale of the company or redundancies in your area. But you can apply the learnings from this episode to any change in your life:
Relationship Changes: Going through a breakup, divorce, or the end of a significant friendship.
Health Challenges: Receiving a serious diagnosis, recovering from an illness or injury, or dealing with chronic health conditions.
Family Dynamics: Coping with the loss of a loved one, becoming a parent, or navigating a major shift in family roles, such as caring for ageing parents.
Financial Changes: Experiencing job loss, a significant reduction in income, or managing unexpected expenses.
Life Transitions: Moving to a new city, adjusting to retirement, or dealing with an empty nest when children move out.
The simple truth is that most people are not even aware that they are stuck in a change curve and just cannot get themselves out of it. Once I studied personal change on a deeper level, I started to see it in my colleagues at work. In one of my roles, I was responsible to create a new management system and implement it into the team. The attitude and resistance from some of the colleagues where classic stages of the change curve. Some of the things they would say are:
“The old way of doing things was much more clear to me. Why do we have to work with the new process again?”
“I don’t think this new system is going to work for our business partners. I am sure we will just go back working in the old way in a few months.”
“This is so confusing and just not intuitive. I have no idea how to use this system and for sure not next week when this is going live.”
Obviously, these kind of things are always easier to see in others. It’s much more difficult for us to recognize that we are stuck in going through change. While I take you now through the stages of the change curve, I will share with you typical indicators from which you can check, if you might be stuck in a change curve. And let’s be real, some people are constantly stuck in a change curve – they are just jumping from one to the other, wasting so much energy and life force on going through the same emotions again and again. So, let’s make sure that you get yourself through a change curve quicker next time something happens in your life.
Introduction to the Change Curve
The Change Curve is based on a model originally developed in the 1960s by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross to explain the grieving process. Since then it has been widely utilised as a method of helping people understand their reactions to significant change or upheaval. The key stages of the change curve are:
- Shock
- Denial
- Frustration
- Depression
- Experiment
- Decision
- Integration
There are lots of variations of the change curve that will either go into further detail or try to bring some of these stages together to simplify it. We will be using these 7 stages of the Kübler-Ross Change Curve but any of them say very similar things. So don’t worry, if you have heard of slightly different stages in your workplace. What these stages are called is not of importance but what is happening to you in each step of the curve.
Humans are inherently resistant to change. It’s not because we’re stubborn or unwilling, but because change threatens our sense of stability and control. Our brains are wired to seek comfort in familiarity, and when that’s disrupted, we often experience fear, uncertainty, or loss. These emotions manifest in the stages of the change curve, reflecting the internal process of grappling with a new reality.
Emotional processing is crucial during transitions, as it helps us make sense of what’s happening and find a path forward. Ignoring these emotions or rushing through them can leave us stuck, wasting energy on resistance rather than adaptation. The change curve isn’t just a theoretical model; it mirrors our deeply human need to process loss, understand our new circumstances, and rebuild our sense of equilibrium. By recognizing where we are on the curve, we can take intentional steps to move through it more efficiently and with greater resilience.
The Stages of the Change Curve and How to Navigate Them
Shock
Let’s dive into the first stage of the change curve: Shock.
Shock is that initial reaction when change drops into your life unannounced. It’s like someone hit pause on everything you know and flipped the script. This stage is often filled with disbelief and a sense of being completely overwhelmed. Maybe you’ve thought—or even said out loud—things like, “This can’t be happening. What now?”
When shock hits, it can feel disorienting. You might find yourself frozen, unable to decide what to do next. Or maybe you feel disconnected, as if the news isn’t quite real yet. Processing what’s happening feels impossible because your brain is trying to catch up.
This reaction is completely natural. Change, especially when unexpected, is like a jolt to your nervous system. Your body can slip into a fight-or-flight response, and that’s why you might feel paralyzed or numb. It’s just your system protecting you from feeling overwhelmed all at once.
So, how do you handle this stage? The key is to pause and ground yourself. You don’t need to have all the answers right now—you just need to take a moment to breathe. Let’s try this together: inhale through your nose for four seconds, hold for four, and exhale through your mouth for four.
Taking a moment like this can help calm your nervous system and give your mind the space it needs to process. The most important thing to remember is that you don’t have to rush into action. Let the initial wave of shock settle. From there, you’ll be better equipped to figure out what to do next.
Denial
Alright, let’s move to the second stage of the change curve: Denial.
Denial often sneaks in after the initial shock wears off. It’s your mind’s way of trying to protect you from the full weight of the change. Think of it as a defense mechanism, a way of saying, “If I just ignore this, maybe it’ll go away.”
You might catch yourself thinking things like, “This isn’t really happening,” or “This won’t affect me at all.” Maybe you’re clinging to routines that feel comfortable, hoping everything will just go back to the way it was. Denial can feel safe in the moment, but it can also keep you stuck.
It’s completely normal to feel this way. Your brain is trying to buy itself some time to register the new reality. The problem is, staying in denial for too long creates bigger issues. While you’re holding onto the past, the world—and everyone around you—starts moving forward. If you’re not careful, you might end up feeling left behind or disconnected.
So, how do you move past denial? The first step is to face the facts. I know that sounds daunting, but it’s a lot easier than staying stuck. Start by seeking out credible information about the change. What’s actually happening? What does it mean for you? The more you understand, the less intimidating it will feel.
Another great way to shake off denial is to talk to people who are already adapting. Hearing how others are navigating the situation can help you see that it’s possible to move forward. Remember, staying in denial might feel comfortable for a little while, but the longer you stay there, the harder it’ll be to catch up later.
You’ve got this. Take a deep breath and take that first step toward understanding what’s really going on.
Frustration
Next up is a tough one: Frustration.
Frustration kicks in when the reality of the change really starts to sink in. You’ve moved past the initial shock and denial, and now it’s clear that things aren’t going back to how they were. It’s in this stage that emotions peak, and resistance is at its highest. You might feel irritated, resentful, or even outright angry.
Maybe you catch yourself thinking, “Why is this happening to me?” or “This change is just making everything harder.” You might even find yourself blaming others—the person who introduced the change, your manager, or even the entire system for making your life more complicated. These feelings often come with a side of anxiety or fear. “What if I can’t handle this? What if I fail?”
Here’s the thing: frustration is completely normal. It’s a natural response to the disruption of your routine and the uncertainty of what comes next. But frustration can also be useful—yes, really! It brings up important questions: Why is this change happening? What matters most to me? How can I navigate this better? These are the questions that can help you make sense of the situation and start moving forward.
So, what can you do to work through frustration? First, acknowledge how you’re feeling. It’s okay to be angry, scared, or irritated. Those feelings are valid. The key is to express them in healthy ways. Try journaling—write it all out, uncensored—or talk to someone you trust who can listen without judgment.
And here’s something important to remember: you’re not alone. I have resources to help, from podcast episodes to guided meditations and subliminals designed to help you process emotions in a healthy way. The goal isn’t to ignore your frustration but to channel it constructively so you can start making progress.
You’ve got this—one step at a time.
Depression
Let’s talk about the next stage: Depression.
This one is tough, but it’s also an important part of the process. Depression can settle in when you’ve come to terms with the reality of the change, but you feel lost or stuck. It’s like the weight of everything finally hits you, and you’re not sure how to move forward.
You might feel hopeless, like there’s no point in trying. Tasks that used to energize you might now feel exhausting. You could find yourself withdrawing—avoiding people or activities that once brought you joy. And maybe, just maybe, you’re questioning whether you even have what it takes to adapt to this new reality.
If any of this sounds familiar, I want you to hear me loud and clear: This is not your permanent state of being. It’s just a phase. It’s part of the change curve, and like every other stage, it will pass.
Now, depression can be sneaky. It doesn’t always come just once; it can resurface as the change evolves or new challenges pop up. But here’s the key: you don’t have to go through it alone.
When you’re feeling low, the best thing you can do is reconnect with others. Reach out to a loved one, a trusted friend, or even a colleague. Just talking to someone who cares can remind you that you’re not alone in this. And I know—it’s tempting to isolate yourself, but locking yourself away only makes it harder.
Remember, you are not defined by this phase. It’s just one part of the process. You’ve made it through tough times before, and you’ll get through this one too. You’re stronger than you think, even when it doesn’t feel that way.
Take a deep breath. One step forward is all it takes to start climbing out of this stage.
Experiment
Now we’re moving into the stage of Experimentation, and this is where things start to shift in a positive direction. Experimentation is the point where you begin to explore and adapt. After all the resistance and emotional weight of earlier stages, you might finally start to feel a spark of curiosity or cautious optimism. You’re testing the waters—trying out new approaches and seeing what works.
You might notice yourself saying, “What if I try doing it this way?” or, “Maybe this new system isn’t as bad as I thought.” These moments of experimentation can feel small, but they’re actually huge steps forward. They show that you’re starting to open up to the possibilities within the change, rather than just focusing on what’s been lost.
This stage isn’t about figuring everything out all at once. It’s about taking one small step at a time. Maybe you test out a new tool or process. Maybe you shift your attitude slightly, just to see how it feels. These little experiments can lead to small moments of success or clarity—and that’s what builds your momentum.
Here’s my tip for this stage: break it all into manageable steps. You don’t have to tackle the entire change in one go. Focus on one small thing you can try today. And when you do, celebrate it—yes, even if it feels tiny. Progress is progress, and every step forward matters.
I also want to remind you about something I talk about a lot: inspired action. This is action that comes from a place of intuition and excitement, rather than pressure or fear. In my Energy Academy program, I go into detail about how to tap into this, but for now, just ask yourself: What’s one step I can take that lights me up a little? Start there.
Remember, this is where adaptation begins. You’re exploring, you’re learning, and you’re getting closer to a place where this change feels doable—and maybe even beneficial.
Decision
Now we’ve reached a crucial stage: Decision.
This is the point where everything starts to click. You’ve explored, adapted, and experimented enough to gain a sense of clarity. You’re no longer resisting the change or feeling stuck—you’re actively choosing to embrace it.
In this stage, you begin to understand the benefits of the change. You start to see how it can work for you, and you take concrete steps to make it part of your life. It’s about aligning yourself with the new reality and making deliberate choices to move forward.
You might notice that you feel more in control now. Maybe you’ve even started planning for the future, thinking ahead to what’s next. That sense of being proactive rather than reactive? That’s the power of this stage.
Here’s my tip: reframe your mindset. Take a moment to reflect on how far you’ve come. You’ve worked through the earlier stages of the change curve, and you’ve aligned yourself with this new path in a way that works for you. That’s no small feat—it’s something to be proud of.
Congratulate yourself for making the decision to move forward. Acknowledge the effort it’s taken to get here and the strength you’ve shown in the process. And here’s the best part: now that you’ve made it through this change, you’ve proven to yourself that you can do it again. You have the power to keep making these decisions and to navigate future changes with even more ease and confidence.
This stage is a turning point—it’s where you go from surviving the change to thriving within it. You’ve got this, and the best is yet to come.
Integration
And now, we’ve arrived at the final stage: Integration.
Integration is where the change becomes part of your routine. It’s no longer something you’re adjusting to or resisting—it’s just the way things are now. You feel at ease, productive, and confident in this new reality.
In this stage, you’re not constantly thinking about the change anymore. Instead, you’ve embraced it, and stability has returned. It’s the foundation of the change curve process, the goal you’ve been working toward all along.
Here’s my tip for this stage: make this your new normal. Take a moment to check in with yourself and ensure there are no lingering negative emotions or resentments. Fully embracing this stage means finding peace with the change and using the lessons you’ve learned to navigate future challenges more smoothly.
You’ve come full circle—and you’ve shown yourself just how adaptable and resilient you truly are.
Embracing Change: Protect Your Energy and Move Forward with Confidence
As we wrap up this episode, I want to leave you with a final thought: change is never easy, but it’s always an opportunity. The change curve isn’t just a model—it’s a map for navigating the emotional journey we all face when life throws something new at us.
Each stage we talked about—Shock, Denial, Frustration, Depression, Experimentation, Decision, and Integration—offers its own challenges and lessons. And the tips I shared today are here to help you move through these stages with less resistance and more ease.
The most important takeaway is this: your energy is precious. Don’t waste it being stuck in a stage that isn’t serving you. Use what you’ve learned today to check in with yourself when change happens. Where are you on the curve? What step can you take to move forward?
Remember, this isn’t about rushing through the process—it’s about being intentional and kind to yourself along the way. Change is emotional, and it’s okay to feel all of it. What matters most is how you care for yourself and channel your energy into steps that light you up and bring you closer to where you want to be.
You’ve got this. Thanks for listening, and until next time, take care of yourself and your energy—you deserve it.
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