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Have you tried out mindfulness and well-being tools and techniques like meditation or journaling? And have you asked yourself why none of the practices worked or why you didn’t stick with them?
In this episode, we will talk about 3 reasons why your mindfulness tool might not work. And these are reasons that are not obvious and often discussed – so make sure to listen and check if you can turn your practice into a great success.
Have you tried a mindfulness tool before and wondered why it did not work? Oh yes, I am part of the club. What if I told you that they could have worked? All of these tools are right and they all can give you the positive impact you are searching for. But there are underlying reasons why they might be doomed from the start. These reasons are hardly spoken about, they are not often discovered and for sure they are not obvious. Otherwise, we would not feel like all the meditation and journalling is a waste of time.
How many tools have you tried before and not gotten enough out of it? Maybe you tried meditating, possibly even different ways of meditation. Then we have various breathing techniques, yoga, journalling questions, mind management tools, relaxation music and exercises.
There are so many ways out there that promise us peace, well-being, calmness and a more quiet and relaxed mind and body. And have you had the experience that you gave it a really good shot but just did not get the incredible results that others are talking about? If that´s you, you are not alone.
Once you listened to this episode you can check if one or even all of them are holding you back from benefiting from your mindfulness practice. What might be standing in the way are certain beliefs, your language and words you use and the energy of resistance. We are going to talk about all 3 in much more detail, so you can check if they can help you.
I am sure that you will have some AHA moments and I hope that you might even have a breakthrough. I want you to shift from “When will this finally work?” to “Yes, this is finally working.”
And I am sure you have gotten some benefits out of them already. But how great would it be if you could check if you have any of the 3 barriers and dismantle them so that you are able to experience leaps of progress in your practice? What if YOU could be one of the people who talk or write about these amazing experiences or results that you got from your practice?
“Think about it as if you have a splinter in the sole of your foot and it´s really deep inside so you cannot see it.”
You just think you got a little wound by stepping on something sharp and it’s painful when you walk. So you try everything to make the pain go away: you use the right cream to heal the wound. You secure it with a bandage to make sure it can heal properly. And you take some pills to improve the healing process or relieve the pain. You are doing all the right things but you are just not aware that the splinter is actually still in your foot. And until you don´t find out about the splinter and remove it, the wound is not going to heal and the pain is not going to go away. From the outside, the wound has actually healed and looks good, but it just does not feel good. But when you do finally get the little bugger out of your foot, what happens?
It drastically improves, and the wound is gone in a matter of a few hours. You can walk again free of pain and everything is forgotten in a day. Just imagine you can uncover one or even more reasons that you so far just did not see.
So let´s try to uncover how we can move from “putting a bandage on” to enhanced wellbeing and mindfulness. How we can stop wasting our time on little improvements over a long period of time and instead experience improvements, and get insights and results quicker and more often? Are you ready?
The first reason that might stand in your way, is that you have beliefs that are blocking you from getting the best out of your practice. And you are not aware of these beliefs because you never took the time to sit down and question yourself. And that´s completely normal – we are not used to questioning ourselves or our beliefs. But when we are coming up against a wall and we are doing the work and nothing changes – that’s when uncovering your beliefs is necessary.
Let´s say you have the wish to be a millionaire (Episode 39) and you keep saying it as well. You might be journalling on this, create powerful affirmations and actually take the right steps and actions. At a minimum, that´s how it feels to you. You know you are doing it all but it does not move the needle. And then somebody, like me, tells you to write down all the beliefs you have about money, about rich people and about being a millionaire. Any statement or sentence that you have heard, read or thought about in your life before. By doing this exercise, you discover powerful beliefs that are standing in the way of your goal.
All your childhood (Episode 42) your father kept saying that money does not grow on trees. And you remember that you have used this before in conversations with your partner. Or you realize that every time you see rich people on TV you think: “Look how snobby they are. They think they can just do whatever they want. How awful!” If this is what you think about rich people, your actions will never make you rich because you don’t want to be a snob and an awful person. You literally sabotage your own actions towards wealth.
These beliefs can come from our parents, our teachers or trainers, from the news or on TV. The ones we collected in our childhood are powerful because they are a long time within us. And as a child, we did not question what our parents or teachers said, we just believed it.
Uncovering these beliefs is so powerful and eye-opening. You can discover illogical beliefs that make no sense to you. But unless you don´t discover that you have them and dismantle them, they will stay hidden as a barrier that is hard to overcome.
“Take the time to sit down and make a list of all the statements, phrases and beliefs you have about your mindfulness practice.”
Ask yourself the same about the topic of mindfulness in general. Look a bit broader to find beliefs that are disempowering your efforts. By being aware of them, you can replace them. You can let go of them and you can take the power back.
The second reason why you might not have the results that you desire is the way you speak about your practice. Words have immense power! What we speak and say, creates our reality. So you want to check your language to see if you are saying something again and again that discredits all the work you are putting into your practice.
Imagine you meditate for a few months and you really make sure to do it regularly. You like how you feel during and after meditation but you are hoping for more. Maybe you use guided meditations and the voice is telling you to experience something specific, but it just does not work for you. You have not experienced that thing yet.
And when a friend asks you how your meditation practice is going, what do you say? How do you speak about your experience?
Maybe your answer: “I love meditating but I think it’s not really working for me.” Or you say: “I think I am doing something wrong because so far it’s just making me relax but nothing more.”
It’s important that we listen to the words we are using – the words in our head and what we say to other people. Our subconscious takes everything in, unfiltered. And if you say that it’s not working and that you are doing something wrong. What do you think will happen?
It´s not going to work for you and you will keep experiencing that you are doing something wrong. Our words have the power to create our reality – they can create what we want. But more often they create what we don’t want. And the reason is that we keep saying what we don’t want.
Observe yourself next time you talk or think about your practice. Think back over the last few months, how have you spoken about it to others? If you find any indication that you might sabotage your practice with your words, change them. Practice talking differently about it. Catch yourself next time you realise that you did it and say it differently. Remember, you are creating your own reality.
The third not-so-obvious barrier is about shifting your perspective on where you are currently at. If you are working on your mindfulness I assume you do it to improve and to grow. And that is wonderful – you are in the right place. At the same time, you might assess your current or recent state as not so desirable. You want to move away from something – that’s why you are putting in the work. And that all makes complete sense. But it can start to trip us up when we label that current state as a problem or an issue. Because it is not – it just is where we are currently at!
You are currently where you are and you want to grow and develop into something else. Perfect! But when you label where you currently are as a problem, you are creating the energy of resistance. When you create this energy by judging something as an issue, you feel it. It gets stronger and it persists. The issue or problem gets your attention and therefore it gets your energy. And with that energy, it stays.
“Albert Einstein said: We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them. I apply it as: We cannot solve our problems with the same energy we used when we created it.”
If we keep staying in the energy of seeing our current state as a problem, it´s going to be an uphill battle to change it. Another saying we might have heard before is: What you resist persists.
Stop focusing on the situation that you label to be a problem. Rather put your attention and energy on where you want to be. Focus on your practice and how it grows and develops you. That´s where you want to spend your energy. Forget about the state you want to move out of. Don´t give it any more attention and you might see not just your perspective shifting but your progress and your growth.
Right, these are my top 3 areas for you to watch out for when you feel like you are not making the progress you want. Check your beliefs, observe your words and focus your attention and energy on the desired state instead of the undesired state.
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