Why is it so hard to step out of our comfort zone? E112

September 26, 2023

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How many times have you tried to step out of your comfort zone and failed? Countless times? Yes, me too! But do you know why you have failed before? No? Well, then make sure to stick with me here and find out.

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If this episode’s title is a question you have asked yourself before, then it means you already know what a comfort zone is AND that you want to step out of it for a reason. We will look behind the curtain of the description: comfort zone to find out what happens when we are in our comfort zone or when we try to step out of it.

I will explain to you why it feels so hard to step out of your comfort zone but why you keep trying or minimum wishing that you could do more of it. It’s a wonderful pursuit in your life and you are already further along your path of transformation than you might think – only by having the desire to step out of your comfort zone.

The part of you that wants more in life

Just think about it. What if you would have no desire to even move out of that comfort zone? It would mean that you have no interest in anything other than what you already have and know.

And if you are aware of your comfort zone and desire to move beyond it, then you strive for something else. Probably something greater, more beautiful, more aspiring. And I love this part of us humans that constantly wants to expand. And I love this part of you. So go ahead and love yourself for having the aspiration for more.

Our Comfort Zone = The KNOWN

Let’s peek behind that curtain together. What is our comfort zone? Everything that is in our comfort zone is what we already know. Everything we already experienced. And everything we already accomplished and obtained. Described in one word, our comfort zone is the KNOWN.

A lot of things can happen in our comfort zone. But if we look closer everything is a repetition of something we have already done, reached or experienced before. It might not look exactly the same, but if we take a step back we can see that it’s kind of the same. Or maybe you keep repeating things that do look exactly the same.

The reason why we want to step out of our comfort zone

And that’s already the reason why we want to move out of that comfort zone even if we don’t think about it like that. We just know that we want something different. We are fed up with the current status. Or we feel bored doing the same thing each day, each month, each year. Or we have this voice inside of us telling us that we can be more, that there is more to discover and that THIS, what we currently have, cannot be the end of it.

If that is the case, where do we then go? Well, we step out of that comfort zone to find that “more” that we desire. That way we can discover new places, new situations, and new understandings of the world and our role in it. Anything new is outside of our comfort zone. And when the comfort zone is the KNOWN, then outside of your comfort zone is the UNKNOWN.

Outside of our Comfort Zone = The UNKNOWN

In the UNKNOWN we can find new possibilities and opportunities. This is where our dreams exist, where our desires get fulfilled. To get to our dreams and desires we have to step out of our comfort zone and into unknown territory.

If how our dreams and desires become reality is inside of our comfort zone, so in the KNOWN, we would already have it. We would know exactly how to make it a reality. But that’s not the case. We don’t know how exactly our dreams and desires will become reality and that means we have to step into the UNKNOWN to create them.

This all makes sense to you, right? I think it’s pretty clear and straightforward. At the same time, good to lay it out and be even more aware of what inside and outside of our comfort zone actually means.

Why is it so hard? Reason #1

Now, back to the question at hand. Why is it so hard to step out of our comfort zone?

The reason for that is the feelings, sensations and perceptions we have when we move out of our comfort zone. So what are those? The first one and obvious one is the feeling of being uncomfortable. In the comfort zone, you feel comfortable. You might not be happy, satisfied or fulfilled. But at a minimum in your comfort zone, you feel comfortable.

So when we start to step out of our comfort zone into the UNKNOWN, we stop feeling comfortable which means we feel uncomfortable. The sensation or state of uncomfortableness is made up of various feelings, thought processes, and triggers and for each one of us, it’s going to be slightly different.

We don’t like to be uncomfortable

You can probably think about a situation where you felt uncomfortable before. Either because it was truly a negative experience or because you imagined that it could become a negative experience. And that is of course a huge factor when we try to step out of our comfort zone but then shy away because we imagine the worst-case scenarios. Instead of the best-case scenarios.

And that is one of the biggest reasons why we find it so hard to step out of our comfort zone. And the reason why we return to our comfort zone when we are faced with uncomfortable feelings in the unknown territory.

Why is it so hard? Reason #2

The second reason I want to highlight to you is about the predictableness of our comfort zone. Everything in your comfort zone is known and therefore predictable. Or how I love to say: Nothing changes until you change. If everything stays the same, you can predict your tomorrow, next week or the rest of your life. It’s just going to be a repetition of your past and present.

Stepping out of your comfort zone makes your life or minimum parts of it, unpredictable. Our analytical mind can agree with wanting the unpredictable state for something new to come into our lives, for our dreams to become reality. But that does not mean other systems inside of us are happy with living in an unpredictable state of being.

Survival instincts love Predictableness

Those systems look after our survival. And for our survival, we want to have all the answers and know everything that’s going to happen. Only then can our systems relax and be assured that we are okay.

So what makes stepping out of your comfort zone so hard, is that your survival systems are going to jump into action and do everything in their power to get you back into the predictable state of being aka your comfort zone.

Now that you know 2 of the main reasons why it’s so hard to step out of your comfort zone I hope this does not shy you away from ever attempting again to leave your comfort zone. That would be a shame!

Rather the knowledge of what’s happening and your new understanding will make you feel more empowered to do it again. To step more out of your comfort zone than ever before.

Learn how to be comfortable with being uncomfortable in Episode 113

You can get used to the state of uncomfortableness. With repetition, everything gets easier. And that applies as well to stepping out of your comfort zone.

Think about it. We don’t let our children stay in their comfort zone when growing up. We help them to overcome their fear of the unknown and try new foods, new hobbies, or making new friends. So if your 4-year-old can do it, so can you!

The same applies to working with your systems to be okay with the unpredictableness in your life. In the next episode, we will go deep into the topic: How to Get Comfortable Being Uncomfortable. And how can we work with our survival systems to allow more unpredictableness into our lives for that dream and desire to become reality?

Two easy ways to show your appreciation!

If you found value in today’s episode, here’s what you can do to show your support:

First, consider making a donation to the podcast. Every little bit helps to cover the costs of producing and hosting the show. And ensures that I can continue to bring you the latest insights and opinions on the topic of energy and improving your life.

Second, leave a rating and review on Apple Podcasts. This helps boost the podcast’s visibility and attract new listeners, which helps me create more tailored content for you to enjoy.

So whether you choose to donate, leave a rating and review, or both, know that you’re an integral part of my vision. You are helping everyone who struggles with burnout or high-stress levels to experience how awesome their life can be. So, thank you for your support!

The balance of being grateful & still wanting more Episode 104
How to mentally rehearse yourself a new life? Episode 75
Struggling with the concept of awareness and observership? Episode 60

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